The Best Thing About Life — it Moves on

Celebrating the spirit of resilience.

The other day, a notification popped on my photos app reminding me of a time that I would truly want to forget. It was of a time when I was still ‘happily’ married. It reminded me of a time when my concept of a happy life was to have a family of my own, a good job, vacations.

But when has life ever gone according to plan?

Life has enjoyed throwing some wicked curveballs at me.

This story is not about how my life has been a tragedy, but more about celebrating the spirit of resilience.

When the word ‘divorce’ was first spoken in the relationship, I went through the entire ordeal of anger, depression, suicide attempts, blah blah, and finally acceptance.

Reaching that acceptance stage was an ordeal. For a long time, I was not ready to talk about it, for the simple fear of being judged. What will my friends and my family say? In this process I didn’t realise I was judging myself.

My self-esteem was at an all-time low. The feeling of not being good enough was so overpowering that I couldn’t bring myself to have a simple conversation with anyone.

One day I was feeling so overwhelmed I landed up blurting it out to my colleague. And I felt so light. After that, I was more open about this fact and it became easier for me to accept it. I became unapologetic and reached out to my support system.

I realized that I can’t control what’s happening around me but I can control how I react to it.

I started making some small goals - taking up an online course, starting a new job, running initially for 3 km, and slowly increasing. I started focusing on things that I could control - my career, my health both mental and physical.

I am proud to say today that I am much more confident in my abilities.

I have come a long way from wishing things to wanting to finally making them happen. I am still learning new things about myself. Expressing my thoughts publicly is another first in this journey. In India, divorce is still considered a social stigma.

With all the acceptances, rejections, setbacks, achievements, I am falling in love with the woman I am becoming - a story that will remain under construction.

I’d like to call out to women who are fighting the battle of putting their lives together and are facing judgment at multiple levels — You are not alone.